i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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