The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize