The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
bring money and cleavage
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Sorry about my life...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
