I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just invented taco cereal.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
