I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize