Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I want her autograph on my taint
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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