It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
