a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Quick, to the slutcave!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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