I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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