We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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