sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
