Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
there was a trapeze. enough said
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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