just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I am available for nakedness
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
