He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
