I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
