He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
