I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
