everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
