I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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