doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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