she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
