shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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