Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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