doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
