According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
