I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
