I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
All the doctor said was why
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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