guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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