Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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