Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
