you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
