I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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