remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
