Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I got inside last night via doggy door
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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