If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
