You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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