I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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