lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
