I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
