We need to rekindle our bromance
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
