i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize