Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
we're so committed to being not committed
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
