Bisexual people are plain selfish.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
