The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
