Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
