dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
