What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
