So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
