And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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