Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize