After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
