i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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