I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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