Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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