Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize