yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
