I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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