i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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