can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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