Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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