we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
