Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
