Kiss
Puke
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
