I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hippo gnu deer
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
