YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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