the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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