I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
