Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
