His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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