as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Your penis caused this!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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