An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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