didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Two words: blizzard sex
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
