my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize